My most recent guest was Khara Croswaite Brindle. We talked about her book, Understanding Ruptured Mother-Daughter Relationships: Guiding the Adult Daughter’s Healing Journey Through the Estrangement Energy Cycle.  One point that came up was the ease with which we can judge other people’s choices. This can happen in various situations, including estrangements, estate planning decisions, and succession planning in a family business. They share common pitfalls.

First, so often, nothing good comes from these judgements.  Next, we don’t know the whole story. Finally, as was so clear in my conversation with Khara, the fact that a choice was made never guarantees that it was an easy one for the person who made it. And not that it is easy to live with. In some circumstances, it will be best to explain the basis for the decision. Even if others disagree, there is an opportunity to understand. In others, that isn’t appropriate. Either way, the rest of us can try not to judge. Or, at least, we can keep our judgments to ourselves.

Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at jb@dovetailresolutions.com! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/.

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